Distraction?

I thought it might help to make a list of the things that distract me from writing.

1.  Tiredness - foggy head.

This is a symptom of a health condition I am still recovering from, and probably the number one enemy, when it comes to distractions, or perhaps we could call this one a reason, to not write - pretty legitimate perhaps.

2. An underlying fear of failure, success, judgement and criticism.

This one's tricky, as it is possibly impossible not to encounter at least three of these, and frequently! still were just naming things here, shining a light on them if you will.

3. The fear that I can't do it, that nothing will come, that no one would possibly want to read what I have written, let alone pay for it.

OK, so the list has surprised me so far, it doesn't seem to be distractions, more fears and beliefs, things at the root of why I allow myself to be distracted, or just don't write at all!

4. Bills and admin.

This is a distraction, it takes time and energy, and seems to take my creative energy and shoot it in the head.  Especially when it's a problem that drags on and on, like my internet speed having dropped off and the post office wanting me to run tests for 72 hours before they will send an engineer.

5. Stuff that needs doing including eating, cooking, cleaning, washing, dressing, clothes washing and the list goes on.

Unlike some writers, because of my health, I cannot stay up all night when I'm in the zone, or skip food to soldier on. I have to take really good care of myself, and I have to eat something every couple of hours.

6. Lack of ability to stay focused.

I have literally wondered if I have A.D.D.  Right from school I was a restless, fidgety creature.  I used to have the ability to focus on one thing and blot everything else out, to a point that was obsessional.  But obsession isn't very healthy, and I want to be a healthy writer!

7. My neighbours dog barking it's head off for 4 hours non stop.

In fairness that would distract the dead.

8. Phones and people knocking on the door/ emails that need a reply.

The solution to this one is easy. This is one of those where I allow myself to be distracted due to some of the things on this list. I once started reading the whole booklet on how to do a tax return because I thought it would be good to know everything about the Inland Revenue..I quickly realised that I would rather do anything than edit my novel, because deep down I was afraid I couldn't do it!

9. Fear of change.

Interesting...

10. The belief that I don't deserve to do the thing I love to do, or be paid for it, or be fulfilled or have any wealth, success or talent - because then people wont like me, and I will have to face rejection.

Where did that come from?! Man that's deep. Is it true....?

I think I learned growing up that work was something you were supposed to hate, that made you stressed and miserable and ill, but you had to exist this way to pay the rent and put food on the table.

11. Ridiculously high expectations I put on myself.

Yep, just need to allow myself a process of something messy and sketchy, that with work turns into something of a higher standard. Instead of everything I put on paper needing to be potential for The Man Booker Prize.

I have been totally surprised by this list and am starting to sense that distraction is not the problem at all...Dr. Phil (On Oprah) used to say "You can't change what you don't acknowledge"

List acknowledged!