Trusting the Discovery.

One of the most important things I'm learning about being a writer is that it's about discovery, not control.

It's been said to me that writers have a lot of control, and in some ways that is true.

We can make characters live or die, by the choices we make in what we write.  Create babies and bring new life; send stories down any path conceivable.

With a pen and paper/keyboard and screen, we can be a little 'like God'.

However, I seem to write the most effective and powerful pieces when I show up at the desk, and enter the unknown prepared to discover.  Trusting that something will be created from nothing.  That it isn't all about me.

Create. A verb
1. to bring into existence
2. to cause something to happen as a result of one's actions.

Into existence.

Cause something to happen.

This is not to say that I don't have some kind of plan, or a strong idea of what I want to say, or the theme I am going to explore.  I may even be quite clear about a character.

I may have a structure of the story or novel.  Or I may have none of these things, and start with nothing, trusting that even the planning will come.

I start somewhere, and like an act of faith,  I trust that I will discover how this story unfolds, how the theme is explored, how this journey takes place.

Before I saw it like this, I was too afraid to start anything.  Too afraid "I couldn't do it" (as I shared at the start of the year).

Tasks just felt too big for me.  My ego couldn't take the pressure.

My good friend and actress Sarah Baron, has asked me to write a one woman show for her to perform in a festival in Scotland in June.

We just spent some time together talking over, brainstorming and making notes about the theme of the piece, the characters, where it's set, what we want to say basically.

Now I have to write it.  I have to write a 25 min piece, with 4 different characters, that has redemption, engages an audience, tells a story, and serves our theme.

That's the sort of thing that would normally have me hiding in the nearest vat of chocolate.

But not when I choose to trust the discovery, and put in the sweat.

I have not got a clue what to write, and I'm a bit scared about it.

But I recognise that there is work and planning I can do, and then it's an act of faith again. It's just showing up, trusting in what I've learned along the way, and that I do have some skill as a writer, and just begin.

It's a sort of spiritual experience.

I read it somewhere, or heard another writer say, that it's like the thing is already written somewhere 'up there,' and I'm just showing up to tune in and channel it into being 'here'.

So I think being a writer is not about control and power. It's about the creative process of just showing up, of trusting, of knowing it will happen, of entering the unknown and discovering.

Show up. Start somewhere.  Trust the discovery.