Some Kind of Start, Methinks...

Sadly my health nosedived around the time of my last blog post back in January, and I have not done any creative writing since.

In my list of reasons I wrote at the start of the year, as I thought about things that distract me, health problems were on the list.

I don't want to dwell on that much, it is what it is, but I've been thinking about how to start writing again, when I feel so out of that space and I guess full of all the self doubt I had when I wrote the distractions list.  Writing that list got me started, so I thought why don't I blog about the 'not' writing?

Perhaps it will free me up to write again.

Get the bogies out of my unconscious into the light where I can see them.

I suppose the disappointment of finding myself too unwell to focus or sit at the desk was really hard. It felt devastating.  It's happened more times that I can count.

I had started to get a flow going, started building stamina that I hoped would take me back to being able to have a go at editing my novel. I so want to finish that thing!!

I also had categorised every idea or piece, including just notes, for stories and projects I had written dating back to when i was a kid, and I could see I had an impressive body of work to get stuck into.

I had started to believe in moments that I could actually do this, be an author who produced regular work.

What my work needs is hours, time. To put in the hours, to persevere, to go over to get the standard as it needs to be. My health condition has meant so little energy, and being able to work up to an hour at most. Super frustrating.

Now I am slowly recovering, very slowly. I am also advised not to push myself as my Mitochondria (the energy component of the human cell) needs to recover from the relapse I have had.

So, how do I start writing again, with limited energy and focus, when one needs to get the flow going and 'get into it', which takes about the time I'd have to work?

Do I just accept that until I recover more I just cant put in the time at a desk? Do I at least start blogging again? (my brain really needs something to think about outside my recovery).

Do I just start reading the first draft of my novel, meaning I don't have to be sitting at my desk?

The answer is, I really don't know.

But here's a good thing...I've been threatening to start blogging again for a couple of weeks now, and today, even if it was right before bed, I have done it!

Some kind of start, methinks...