Hurrah!

So since I last wrote 2 days ago, I have made a start!

Yesterday I did a final edit on a short story called 'Remaining Silent.'

I also reviewed a piece I began work on when I was doing Lynne Barrett-Lee's short story writing course at Cardiff University 'Telling Tales' (I highly recommend this course). I'd like to develop this piece into a short story.

Today I worked on a short story I also began on the above mentioned course called 'Smells like May' which I like as it's written in the 2nd person, a style I enjoy because I love the energy and immediacy it produces, and also that it's not used that often so it feels quite fresh.

I also read the first 3 weeks worth of notes from the Telling Tales course and wrote all the key points up on the wall (I use lining wallpaper and pin it to the wall, something I learned whilst doing my Degree in Acting. Big piece of plain paper for scrawling on and brainstorming, I find the movement helps my creative process, and writing things big in colour gets my brain juices going!)

I then had an idea to write some backstory for one of the main characters in my novel. I'd like to develop him and give him more depth. The female character in my novel is so fully realised that you are straight in there with her, and on her journey, but the guy not as much and I don't think I did enough work on him in my planning...

Well let's face it, I didn't do any planning. I wrote the opening lines of the novel on a napkin on one of the rare occasions I was able to leave the house, about 14 years ago, just after I first collapsed and became housebound!

I wrote the novel little by little over the years, on bits of paper when I was able to sit up in bed.  Sometimes when I couldn't sleep until 4am, I would grab a piece of paper and just write down the characters thoughts, sometimes I'd manage to write a whole scene.

Sometimes I wouldn't write anything for months, or even a year and then a few years back I stayed with some friends for a long spell, and they cared for me, cooked for me, and it meant I could use the strength I had to try and piece all the thousands of bits of paper together into some kind of coherent narrative.

It took several months, but I did it.

But now I have a six part novel, that needs serious editing, and I find the prospect completely overwhelming. It seems just too much to try and hold in my head, when concentration is so tough anyway.

I have learned a lot about the planning process and would never write a book the same way I did that one! I wonder wether to write a different book using the planning skill's I've learned and maybe go back to the first one when my health and stamina is much improved?

Procrastination! Yuk.

Anyway, I have made a wonderful start, and it feels so empowering to be able to sit at a desk again, even if it is only for a short while. I have been productive!

The fear creeps in, 'how long will it last?' and the answer is I don't know, but I do know that I'm learning new skills to manage my health condition and support my body's systems.

I may not be able to do some writing every day, but I can keep being honest about my process in this blog, and do what I can. I can just show up and see what happens.